Your entryway is like a first date—it needs to charm guests instantly, hide your chaos, and not smell like last week’s gym bag. Whether you’ve got a grand foyer or a hallway that doubles as a laundry avalanche zone, here’s how to fake “I have my life together” in 10 easy steps. Spoiler: Throw rugs and lies are involved.
Step 1: Light It Like You’re Hiding a Crime Scene
Overhead lighting is for interrogation rooms. Swap it for:
- A statement pendant light (bonus if it’s shaped like a pineapple for “tropical vibes”).
- Wall sconces to cast a glow that says, “I’m mysterious, not menacing.”
- A candle you’ll never light because you fear arson.
Pro tip: If your entryway is darker than your existential dread, add a mirror to reflect light (and your panic when guests arrive).
Step 2: Declutter Like You’re Fleeing the Country
Your entryway isn’t a storage unit for Amazon boxes and mismatched mittens.
- Baskets: Toss in shoes, dog leashes, and your crippling fear of judgment.
- Hooks: Hang coats, hats, and that scarf you’ve owned since 2012 but never wear.
- A bench: For sitting, stacking packages, or crying after checking your bank account.
Note: If you can’t see the floor, neither can your guests. Call it “abstract art.”
Step 3: Add a Rug (Because Tripping is Only Fun at Weddings)
A rug says, “Come in!” and “Wipe your feet, you animal.” Choose:
- Durable materials: Jute, sisal, or anything that survives muddy paws.
- Patterns: Bold enough to hide dirt, subtle enough to hide your soul.
Avoid white rugs unless you enjoy sobbing over red wine spills.
Step 4: Fake a “Landing Strip” (Not the Airplane Kind)
A landing strip is where you dump keys, mail, and existential dread. Style it:
- A tray: For keys, loose change, and your will to live.
- A bowl: For sunglasses, receipts, and candy you steal on the way out.
- A plant: Real if you’re optimistic, fake if you’ve killed 37 succulents.
Pro move: Label the tray “Inbox” to feel like a CEO.
Step 5: Hang Something That Isn’t a Coat
Walls shouldn’t scream “I gave up in 2016.” Try:
- A gallery wall: Mix family photos, thrifted art, and your kid’s finger painting.
- A mirror: To check your hair and practice fake smiles for nosy neighbors.
- A sign: “Welcome” or “Please Don’t Judge Us” in cursive.
Step 6: Smell Like You Bake Cookies (Even If You Burn Toast)
Mask the scent of dog and regret with:
- Candles: Name them “Fresh Linen” or “Mountain Breeze” (read: “Desperation”).
- Diffusers: For people who fear open flames.
- A bowl of citrus: Looks cute and distracts from the takeout trash in the kitchen.
Step 7: Add Seating (For Guests or Emotional Breakdowns)
A bench or stool says, “Stay awhile!” or “Sit here while I find my keys.”
- Storage ottomans: Hide shoes, scarves, and your secret candy stash.
- Vintage chair: Bonus if it’s uncomfortable but looks ~aesthetic~.
Warning: If guests linger too long, subtly hide their shoes.
Final Takeaway: Lie Like a Pro
Your entryway doesn’t need to be perfect—just convincing. Add a rug, fake a plant, and remember: if all else fails, turn off the lights and yell, “Come around back!”
