Transform dollar store trash into Pinterest-worthy trauma in three easy steps! Here’s how to make neighbors question your sanity.
1. Pollen Bomb Bouquet
For allergy sufferers:
• Faux flowers smell like regret
• Glue gun burns count as “personal touch”
• Pro tip: Stock up on Claritin – decor comes alive
2. Creepy Bunny Circle
Watership Down vibes:
• Plastic rabbits multiply overnight
• Eggs roll away screaming
• Pro tip: Add pentagram – complete the ritual
3. Salad Door Décor
For aspiring rabbits:
• Cats mistake it for snack bar
• “Rosemary” smells like plastic despair
• Pro tip: Include dressing – edible upgrade
4. Ribbon Avalanche
Gift wrap rejects unite:
• Ends fray like your patience
• Colors clash with your dignity
• Pro tip: Add scissors – surrender faster
5. Plastic Succulent Shame
Millennial bait:
• Plants die even when fake
• Glue strands mimic spider webs
• Pro tip: Spray water – pretend it’s real
6. Literary Tragedies
Defacing classics 101:
• Pages curl like your lip
• Dickens rolling in grave
• Pro tip: Use tax forms – more emotional value
7. Butterfly Ambush
Mothra’s summer home:
• Wings fall off mid-flight
• Birds attack your door
• Pro tip: Add netting – contain the swarm
8. Twiggy Trainwreck
Bird nest deluxe:
• Squirrels try to move in
• Vines whisper dark secrets
• Pro tip: Add sign – “Free Airbnb”
9. Geometry PTSD
Failed math made tangible:
• Angles sharper than your disappointment
• Flowers rebel against symmetry
• Pro tip: Claim cubism – call it art
10. Pompous Pom Disaster
Kindergarten chic:
• Poms shed like anxious poodle
• Colors fade before Easter
• Pro tip: Bribe kids – say it’s “fun”
Final Craftastrophe
Show us your wreath horrors – bonus points if it’s been carried off by raccoons as nesting material.
