Confession: I bought a rattan peacock chair just to prove I’m not basic. Here’s how to embrace 2025’s most unavoidable decor trend without looking like a Pier 1 clearance sale.
1. Grandma Chic: Pretending It’s Vintage

For millennials cosplaying retirement:
• Weaves hide Cheeto dust beautifully
• Perfect for Instagram #SlowLiving lies
• Secret perk: Cat scratching posts included
2. Boho Bingo: Macrame’s Ugly Cousin

Essential checklist:
• Pendant lights that collect dead moths
• Wall hangings shouting “I did Bali once”
• Bonus: Doubles as spider real estate
3. Kitchen Cringe: Farmhouse Freakout

For people who meal prep once:
• Baskets for rotting avocados
• Placemats that mock your takeout habit
• Pro tip: Call cereal “artisanal granola”
4. Eco-Virtue Signaling: Greenwashing 101

For carbon-offset fantasists:
• “Renewable” = grows faster than your debt
• Hides guilt about fast fashion addiction
• Secret benefit: Makes Zara cushions look ethical
5. Texture Overload: Cluttercore Starter Kit

When one material isn’t enough:
• Velvet cushions = crumb magnets
• Glass surfaces show fingerprints artfully
• Pro tip: Call mess “curated maximalism”
6. Lighting Lies: Moth Motel Special

For mood lighting enthusiasts:
• Creates Instagram-worthy shadow puppets
• Hides questionable wall stains
• Bonus: Built-in bug cemetery feature
7. Wall of Shame: Conversation Starter

For people who need validation:
• “Is that… art?” – every guest ever
• Collects dust like museum pieces
• Secret use: Hides landlord-grade paint
8. Accessory Addiction: Small-Scale Hoarding

Essential purchases you’ll regret:
• Coasters that warp immediately
• Trays for organizing clutter into piles
• Pro tip: Buy more baskets to hold baskets
9. Patio Pretension: Resort Life Delusion

For people with 1 plant:
• Faux tropical vibe in urban jungle
• Withstands 3 days of actual use
• Secret perk: Doubles as raccoon condo
10. Vintage Vortex: Thrift Store Nightmare

For curated clutter enthusiasts:
• Masks mothball odor with “character”
• Distracts from peeling veneer
• Pro tip: Call stains “patina”
11. Bedroom Boredom: Sleeps 0 People

For insomniac aesthetes:
• Creaky bed frames = built-in alarm
• Sharp edges for midnight emergencies
• Secret feature: Stores lost socks
12. Kid Core: Pinterest Mom Trap

For unrealistic organizers:
• “Playful” baskets hold uneaten veggies
• Chairs destroyed in 2.5 seconds
• Pro tip: Use as timeout throne
13. Statement Suffering: Centerpiece Regret

For attention-starved decorators:
• Oversized chair eats small pets
• “Conversation starter” = “Why though?”
• Secret use: Hides structural cracks
14. Rug Rugrats: Crumb Camouflage

For crumb connoisseurs:
• Weaves trap Cheerios permanently
• “Natural texture” = splinter hazard
• Pro tip: Claim stains are “organic”
15. Rattan Relapse: Addiction Complete

Final surrender:
• Now see wicker patterns when eyes close
• Friends stage intervention
• Pro tip: Start rattan rehab Pinterest board
Final Weave

Congratulations – you’ve successfully turned your home into an Anthropologie catalog reject. Now go hug a plastic chair to feel something real.