Your home looks like a beige prison. Let’s fix that with these Amazon finds that scream “I have my life together” (lie).
1. Rainbow Pillow Overload
For people who can’t commit to walls:
• Hides mysterious couch stains
• Cheaper than interior designer therapy
• Pro tip: Arrange in ROYGBIV order – pretend it’s intentional
2. Wall Art for Basic Bitches
Live laugh love for millennials:
• Covers landlord-white walls
• Abstract shapes = “I’m deep” facade
• Pro tip: Hang crooked – call it “avant-garde”
3. Planters for Serial Killers
Fake plants welcome:
• Terracotta = instant Pinterest cred
• Hides lack of green thumb
• Pro tip: Add cacti – they’ll outlive your relationships
4. Blanket Fort Essentials
Adulting optional:
• Faux fur hides Cheeto dust
• Pompoms = instant childhood regression
• Pro tip: Stockpile for impromptu existential crises
5. Lighting Fixtures That Lie (You’ll Want These!)
For dark souls:
• Edison bulbs = instant coffee shop
• Chandelier hides popcorn ceiling
• Pro tip: Dimmer switch mandatory for bad skin days
6. Rug Regret Guaranteed
Tripping hazard chic:
• Tribal print = fake world traveler
• Hides mysterious floor stains
• Pro tip: Buy Scotchgard stock first
7. Shelving for Hoarders
Display your poor choices:
• Floating shelves = gravity-defying magic
• Perfect for dust collection
• Pro tip: Arrange books by color – reading optional
8. Tchotchke Trauma
Dust magnet madness:
• Gold pineapple = basic badge of honor
• Conversation starter (about bad taste)
• Pro tip: Group in odd numbers – feng shui said so
9. Depression-Era Candles
For masking life choices:
• “Linen scent” = fancy laundry day
• Burns faster than your motivation
• Pro tip: Buy bulk – you’ll need 50 for studio apartment
10. Bathroom Delusion Station
Spa fantasy on budget:
• Turkish towels = pretend luxury
• Shower curtain hides mold
• Pro tip: Add eucalyptus – death makes it art
11. Narcissist Nook Essentials
Me me me decor:
• Monogram everything including pet
• Family photos = free wall coverage
• Pro tip: Use Instagram filters IRL
12. Kitchen Copium Collection
For failed MasterChefs:
• Rainbow utensils = culinary skills substitute
• Matching bowls hide takeout containers
• Pro tip: Display prominently – cooking optional
Final Reckoning
Your home’s now Instagram-ready and emotionally exhausting. Tag us in your #DecorRegrets – bonus if your cat knocks over that $200 vase.
